You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
