we have officially lost it.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
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the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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