i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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