i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
