Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
