She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
