I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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