...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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