Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize