there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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