i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize
