fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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