how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize