I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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