yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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