I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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