There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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