If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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