know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Hippo gnu deer
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
