Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
