Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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