I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
