D3 body, D1 cock
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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