So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
