remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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