After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
