Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
