I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
