Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
