Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
