Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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