New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
