'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
