some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
