this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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