I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize