It's like a parade of train wrecks.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I need moral support for this bender
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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