new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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