If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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