I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
