And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
