We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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