hotel room ftw
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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