I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
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