I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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