I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
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