At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
