Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
