so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
im holly from the hills drunk
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
