kristin has been a bad kristin
I forgot how hot balto sounded
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Randomize
