yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
