I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
