I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
