I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
