I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
