he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
