i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
