no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.