she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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