gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line